Happy?
by LMG10
Summary: Sara goes on a date with Grissom, something she's wanted for so long, but is she really happy?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay, this is just a few chapters. It may sound like a Grissom/Sara thing, but it's **NOT** because…well, because I don't like them together. Anyway, I don't own anything. Enjoy and review!

Happy. It wasn't a feeling that Sara Sidle often used to describe herself or her life, but for the first time she was experiencing it. As a child, she had dealt with her share of hard times and they seemed to have followed her through her life, until now. She met him in college and then she worked with him. Then she liked him, loved him. Now he loved her.

Sara loved the feeling that she got when she knew Grissom was watching her work. She would look up. Their eyes would meet and just for a moment they were alone. Sara loved the feeling that someone cared for her; that she wasn't alone in the harsh world, like she had been when she was younger. Sara felt like that every moment they spent together could be her last and she would be okay with it. But most of all, Sara knew that she could trust Grissom. He was safe and even though it had taken him to get to the same place as her, she knew that he wouldn't mess it up. Finally, someone made her happy.

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The doorbell rang. _"Oh God," _thought Sara. She hurried to the bathroom to check her makeup. Sara looked at the reflection of herself, wearing makeup. _"Makeup? Why am I wearing makeup? It's just a date with Grissom. Grissom, that's why." _The doorbell rang again. Sara headed to the front door and peeping through the peep-hole, Sara could see Grissom checking his watch. She took and a deep breath and opened the door. He looked up and smiled. "Hi."

"Hi," said Sara nervously.

"You look very nice," said Grissom.

"Thank you." _"Why can't I speak?" _thought Sara.

"I have a seven-thirty reservation for us." Sara shut the door and followed Grissom to the car. He held the door open and shut it when she got in. The drive to the restaurant was short and they only spoke a few words to each other. Sara had never been to the restaurant before.

"Where are we?"

"A very vegetarian restaurant," Grissom smiled, pleased with his choice and the fact that Sara was smiling too. They were seated by s friendly waitress who gave them an all-vegetarian menu. Sara had a hard time striking up conversation. She was worried about saying something idiotic, but luckily Grissom was able to think of some small talk. "What's your favorite kind of music?"

"Is that before or after Nick converted me to country?" Sara joked. Grissom looked confused. "I like country now." Grissom nodded his head. _"Why is this so awkward?" _

"So, what kind of music do you listen to?" Grissom thought for a moment, still looking at the menu.

"I enjoy classical, but I am open to all kinds." _"So very Grissom," _thought Sara with a smile. The waitress came to take their orders. Grissom went first because he had decided. Sara looked over the top of her menu towards the door. She gazed at the line of people waiting for their take-out order. Sara saw the unexpected but familiar face of Nick.

"Miss, what would you like?" asked the patient waitress.

"Nick," Sara stumbled as both the waitress and Grissom looked confusedly at her, "I mean, I don't want Nick. I'll have lentils, please. He's here. Look," Sara pointed to the line and Grissom understood at once as the waitress left.

Nick was picking up his bag of food and was heading towards them, though he didn't see them. Nick walked right by their table. "Nick?" called Sara. He stopped and whipped around. It took him a minute to register what he saw.

"Hey, what are –" he stopped, "Oh." His face fell as he realized that Sara was on a date with Grissom.

"What are you doing here?" asked Sara. Nick smiled.

"You wouldn't believe it, but you sort of converted me to being a vegetarian."

"Like you converted me to country music," replied Sara smiling. Nick nodded and then said goodbye, not wanting to further interrupt the date. "That was funny, seeing Nick here." Grissom nodded in agreement. The rest of the date was nice. When the food came, Sara had struck up a conversation about a case that they had encountered a couple of years ago. She had even managed to make Grissom laugh, but Sara felt like she was carrying the entire conversation. On the way back to her house, Sara began to dread the awkward good-bye scenario. _"Is he going to kiss me? Walk me to my door? Or will we just say goodbye in the car?" _As they got closer to her apartment, Sara could feel herself getting nervous, her palms were sweating. She was bothered by something; not that she was nervous but that she was nervous for the wrong reason; she didn't want Grissom to kiss her.

The car pulled to a halt. Sara turned to Grissom. "Thank you," she smiled half-heartedly. Grissom leaned in toward her. Sara took a deep breath. "Grissom," he pulled back. She couldn't bring herself to say that she didn't want him to kiss her, "thank you," she repeated and got out of the car. Sara hurried to her door and quickly went inside. The apartment was dark but she didn't bother to turn on any lights. The couch was the closest thing to sit on so she planted herself there.

"_Why was that so weird? I finally got what I wanted for so long. I should be happy, right? Wrong. I'm not happy, more like confused. Really confused,"_ thought Sara. She stayed on the couch, trying to organize her thoughts until she fell asleep.

She woke up. A faint beeping noise was coming from her bedroom. Sara could feel a cramp in her neck already. _"Why am I here? Oh, the date." _The memory from her date last night played over in her head. Finally, she got and went to turn off the alarm clock in her room. She had slept in a half hour. Sara rushed through her evening routine so that she would make it to work on time. She was dreading work, a feeling she had never experience before. Sara got into her car thinking, _"Maybe everything I had dreamed for was, well, a dream and nothing more." _

A/N: Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Awkward didn't even begin to describe Sara's experience at work. She pulled into the parking lot but immediately drove off because she saw Grissom getting out of his car. She was avoiding him and he knew it. Finally, she drove back to the lab and was five minutes late for the meeting. Grissom let it slide but gave her a look.

"Okay everyone listen up. You're all going to be working at the Tangiers. A heist led to a messy shooting with six dead. Cath, you're in charge. Sara, I need to speak to you." Everyone headed off to the locker room, leaving Grissom and Sara alone in the break room. "Look-"

"Grissom," Sara cut in but stopped; she couldn't bring herself to say it. "Go ahead."

"I just wanted to say that I had a really nice time last night," breathed Grissom. _"NO! How can you say you had a good time? I was miserable. I thought you were too. It could have been one of those dates when you both realize that it won't work out,"_ thought Sara. "Sara?" Grissom was staring at her.

"Sorry, I uh…I have to go." She quickly darted out of the room, running into Nick who was tying her shoe. "Sorry, I didn't mean to run into you." He waved it off. "Nick, how long have you been there?"

"I was just tying my shoelace," he replied innocently with a smile.

"I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone that you saw Grissom and I last night." He nodded.

"Do you want to drive to the scene together?" he offered. Sara nodded and ran to get her stuff from the locker room.

Five minutes later, Sara was sitting in Nick's Denali, waiting for him to shut the trunk. He hopped in the driver's seat and started the car. A soft country song filled the car but Nick sheepishly switched it off. Sara turned it back on, looking him in the eye. "I like country." Nick laughed, remembering their encounter the night before.

"I seem to have that affect on people," replied Nick.

After a brief and not awkward silence, Nick asked Sara a question. "I know it's none of my business and you don' have to answer but I was just wondering why?"

"Why what?" asked Sara who was very confused.

"Why'd you go out on a date with Grissom?" Sara was mildly shocked by the question but after a moment of thinking she realized that it was just like friends sharing, not someone trying to pry into her private life. She thought more about the question but she couldn't find an answer. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's okay. I'm just haven't come up with a reason. He asked me to come to Las Vegas for Holly Gibbs and I just sort of stayed. I thought he was brilliant and that we would have so much in common, but…the date was a disaster. I'm pretty sure that seeing you there was the highlight," joked Sara. Nick sat quietly and listened intently as Sara confided in him. When they got to the Tangiers Sara thanked him for listening. "Hey Nick, thanks."

"Anytime."

Sara headed off towards a pool of blood. She felt much better after talking to Nick. Usually, after telling anyone something personal Sara felt like she was open for attack; that the person could use her words against in the future, but this was different. She could trust Nick as a friend and she knew that but was there something more?


	3. Chapter 3

The crime scene was a mess; five bodies of innocent bystanders lay scattered around the second floor casino of the Tangiers, observers were crowding the doorways, for some reason, wanting to see everything, and the owners were pressuring the cops to clear out so they could open up. Much to her surprise, Sara could relate; her social life was so scattered and barely existent before her date the night before. She slowly pieced through the evidence and examined two bodies before Nick dropped her off at the lab. Sara needed to work, it was her thinking time.

"_Do you want me to drive you home?" asked Nick. Sara thought, biting her lip, her head was pounding. Clearly she needed some time to think things over by herself. "Sara?" _

"_Sorry. Uh…no, could you drop me back at the lab?" Nick nodded and head back towards the lab, dropping her off with evidence fifteen minutes later. _

She had been a workroom, trying to lift prints from a gun they had found at the crime scene. Everything was quiet, the lab was practically a ghost town, just the way Sara liked it. Her head was no longing throbbing and her thoughts her organized. A knock at the door made Sara jump a little. She looked up to see Grissom standing in the doorway. _"Well, **almost** everyone went home," _thought Sara. She took a breath, smiled half-heartedly, and spoke, "Hi."

"I was thinking, if you wanted, we could go get something to eat," said Grissom nervously. "It doesn't have to be formal or anything, we could just go" Sara took another deep breath.

"Grissom, I…uh, I don't think I can," she stammered. Her palms were clammy and cold. "Look, I don't us going out is such a good thing. I mean, you're my boss and if things didn't work out, it could be messy." Sara felt relieved after finishing but the crushed look on Grissom's face was almost enough to make her take it back. She didn't want to hurt him; Sara really did like him and respect him as a boss, as a friend but not in the way he liked her.

"Okay," he said softly "I guess I'll see you later." Grissom quickly walked back to his office, leaving Sara alone with her thoughts. _"It's better this way. Definitely better this way. I didn't want to hurt, but it would have hurt more if I led him on, wouldn't it?" _She stored the evidence before grabbing her coat and heading to her car.

On the ride home Sara saw the sun rise. It was a beautiful sight. Although she wasn't the believing type, Sara took it as a sign that she had done the right thing. Once she got home, she head strait for the phone.

555-818…She hung up the phone. And again. And again, but this time she let it ring twice before slamming the phone down, praying that Nick didn't have caller-id. She pushed the phone away and slumped back on the couch, feeling very confused.

Sara had never been quite happy and as soon as she got the man she thought would make her happy, she pushed him away_. "Maybe that was the way my life is supposed to be. But what about Nick?" _Sara had never dumped someone for another guy. In fact, she may have never dumped anyone; she had always found herself in the position as the dumpee, the unhappy one. _"I dumped Grissom for Nick. I threw away happiness for a man who may not even like me. What am I doing? Then again, I was willing to give up my happiness with Grissom for Nick; he must be someone that I think is worth the chance." _Her head was tired so Sara ate some food before climbing into bed for a good eight hours of sleep.


End file.
